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Day 8

‘How do you know if you can die?’ Greg could barely contain his glee at popping such a leftfield question. I looked around the office, and noticed Gemma was now standing in the meeting room in front of a small crowd of people, cheerily gesticulating while the TV displayed ‘How to Grieve at Work’. ‘How do I know? Are you not aware of the happy happy death day going on right now, Greg?’ ‘Sure, but I mean you!’ I honestly can’t even. ‘Greg, I’m tired, I’m bored, I’m not going to speak to you for the rest of the day.’’ Greg actually looked crushed. ‘OK, I guess it is a little early for such a challenging question.’ He said and coasted back to his desk. Challenging questions. That was something Alex said, that I didn’t like being challenged. I’m pretty sure I just don’t like being asked stupid questions, but it seems these guys have the scales lifted from their eyes on a daily basis. I placed my hands delicately above the keyboard, primed to start the day proper: check e
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Day 7

I wake up at 5 and jerk off in the shower. This is the start of my routine. It should take no longer than 15 minutes. Jerking off is a great incentive to start early and means I don’t get horny and disappointed later in the day. Nadine and I don’t really have sex anymore, which clearly isn’t fair but I try not to blame her. She’s depressed and I can’t help her. It’s important that I do whatever I want at any moment, that way at least I’m happy, and hopefully, that rubs off onto her, but it doesn’t seem to be. She doesn’t deserve you. Nadine used to be fun, but I think she had unrealistic expectations about what living together would be like, and she’s too scared to break it off. I never said I was ambitious or even interesting! She didn’t mind at uni, but I guess it’s different now, to be fair. Anyway, I’ve been planning this thing for a while now, and if it doesn’t snap her out of it, at least I tried. I can’t let her get in the way of what’s happening, it’s unfair on the others.
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Day 2

The meeting was dull and intensely stressful in a way that only something you know you should care about, but don’t, can be. The client was distracted – not by my tits- and seemed to have no particular reason for being there. Gemma did most of the talking, despite me being the lead, and that was fine by me. I resisted opening ‘the news’ on my phone largely because I didn’t care what Alex’s thing was. The note annoyed me. Alex annoyed me. We lived together because at one stage Alex did not annoy me and co-habitation made life affordable. Ours was a co-habitation of convenience. Alex seemed to think cutting his own hair, spending all his disposable income on video games, and watching incest porn in the shower was somehow a life worth sharing. Oh, why do I always – ‘Nadine, are you ok?’ Gemma was gently nudging my shoulder, her head cocked to one side like I suppose dogs sometimes do. I’d zoned out. The client had gone. I glanced up at the giant screen to see the ‘Any Questions’ slide t
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Day 1

Maybe we're immortal. I looked up from my phone. Alex was staring at me, expectantly. Huh? Maybe we're immortal, you and me.  Ok. Seriously, what if - -Alex, I don’t know what bit this is, but honestly, it's a bit insensitive given my aunt - -Well, I don’t mean everyone, just us! Think about it, that time driving home from Norfolk, we only just avoided, that um, what was it? It was a pheasant, stood by the side of the road. Yes but, it could have jumped in front of us and then, we could have swerved, and if something were coming the other way! I stood up, not sure why. Alex looked shocked at my sudden movement, he flinched! I'm going to bed, I'm tired. Don't stay up too late. Alex seemed crushed, then seemed to recover as he picked up the PlayStation controller. I'm only half serious. The console beeped and his attention shifted to the tv screen. I didn’t think anything of it. Why would I?   The next day we had breakfast, spok
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